he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
As shirtless as possible
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
