Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
