Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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