you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
