If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
