his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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