I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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