I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's rum buckets o'clock
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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