I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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