I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
