There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
