If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
