is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
