Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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