And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
