There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
