We won't sleep together?
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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