I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
