i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
