I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My ass is underappreciated
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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