Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
