:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
