Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
