I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
