I love black thongs
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
