I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You may now shotgun with the bride
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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