Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
