Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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