But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
