There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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