If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
