we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
