I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
