I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
