it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I know her cup size but not her name....
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
