Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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