It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
