Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
not ubering you a puppy
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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