Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
