Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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