i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
