the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
