I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
