I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Randomize
