is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
