I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
