i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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