I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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