It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
the liver wants what the liver wants
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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