sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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