i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
