i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
where are my eyebrows?
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